Mashed words

I've been doodling a lot and messing with words.  I like how you can mix it all up and join letters at slightly wrong angles and mash them together.  In the one below, the arm in the"r" of birthday forms the cross of the "t" but looks a bit spindly.  If I were doing it again I'd make that arm a bit thicker.  I came up with two designs.  Here's the first before I added any colour...

And here it is coloured with gelly roll pens which I love, love love.

The second one was made for a colleague who is leaving.  I can read it (I should be able to, I drew it!) but Himself didn't see it at first.  It's coloured with pencils and only a little clear glitter pen but the glittery stuff doesn't show up very well in the photo.

 What do you think?  Develop or drop?